apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize