You smell like a Billy Joel song
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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