Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
