quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
