youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
