You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
