Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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