TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
