I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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