SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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