Fuck appropriateness.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
