And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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