Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
