I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
