I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
