so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize