he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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