Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.

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  (416): Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine. http://tfl.nu/wzgr
  Replies (4) Good night (2109) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie

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  (818): I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie http://tfl.nu/1ta9
  Replies (15) Good night (676) Bad night (3852) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm..who the fuck is this?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh shit

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  (781): Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them? (617): Umm..who the fuck is this? (781): Oh shit http://tfl.nu/ik4c
  Replies (54) Good night (1992) Bad night (6280)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.

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  (412): thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out. http://tfl.nu/825u
  Replies (14) Good night (3569) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.

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  (501): Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check. http://tfl.nu/gtpb
  Replies (12) Good night (863) Bad night (5114) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

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  (570): My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station. http://tfl.nu/3ja7
  Replies (16) Good night (4047) Bad night (1644) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis

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  (740): his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis http://tfl.nu/cmya
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (2809) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  how did i know this would happen?

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  (412): I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN (1-412): how did i know this would happen? http://tfl.nu/2nli
  Replies (8) Good night (1830) Bad night (1159) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship

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  (586): and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship http://tfl.nu/q3ik
  Replies (3) Good night (2474) Bad night (864)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.

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  (781): I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/k1ge
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (1225) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(

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  (952): I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :( http://tfl.nu/9wgw
  Replies (3) Good night (1253) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied

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  (901): She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied http://tfl.nu/t1al
  Replies (7) Good night (1087) Bad night (466)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.

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  (+44): It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over. http://tfl.nu/6ffz
  Replies (7) Good night (540) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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  (881): View more from

  I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.

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  (881): I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull. http://tfl.nu/l3jf
  Replies (33) Good night (1245) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.

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  (985): Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers. (504): This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot. http://tfl.nu/gotr
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (251)

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