Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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