My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
