I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
