Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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