I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
