We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
