Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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