Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
