she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
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I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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