he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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