my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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