His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
