capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
