I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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