i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
