Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
