I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
