her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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