Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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