Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
