I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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