Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
