Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize