Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize