don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens