We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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