I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it