so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.