ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
