I threw up into my coffee this morning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
