to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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