I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
