Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
