On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
