where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
This is the high leading the old right now
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
