I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
