Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
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