false alarm. still invincible.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
