Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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