so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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