so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
