hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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