I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
