It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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