NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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