I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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