Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
