ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
