You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
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