covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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