I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
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I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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