sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
