I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I touched a dick in church today
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
