Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize