my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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