I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
