It's Friday. Sex?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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