coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
